I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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