Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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