I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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