dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
