Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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