Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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