it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
