Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize