i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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