on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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