Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
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This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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