i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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