Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
