like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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