So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
