I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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