My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
