She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
