Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
