Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
