Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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