I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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