before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
