I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
