I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
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This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
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We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize