Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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