Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize