WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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