my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
