we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
