she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
