On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
