Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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