HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize