So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
