I want to walk on stilts...naked
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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