So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I want her autograph on my taint
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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