Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
