thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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