sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
