i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
