I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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