break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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