I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
