eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
