The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
