I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
