he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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