just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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