No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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