woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
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I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
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I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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