mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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