I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
