i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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