You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
