So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
