There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
